the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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