you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
