we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
