We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
