I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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