I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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