They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
