Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
