Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
