you turned your livingroom into a bong?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she pinky promised me she was 18
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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