yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
