So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Come on in and take your pants off
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
