All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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