I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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