he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
