ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Even my vagina gasped.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
