Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
