I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
