im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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