$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
