are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my being single is dangerous.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
