Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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