I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
