The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
