i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
