I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
