Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
