R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
