two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
