Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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