garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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