I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
