please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
