Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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