Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Nicole vs. Life
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
