I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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