Apparently you make a good broom.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
