What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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