In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
