i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize