I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
