I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
