Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
where am i from again
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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