Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
