My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
