That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
