alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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