hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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