Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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