Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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