My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
