I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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