All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize