Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
