I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Randomize