Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
