it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
