insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
