Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
