This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
