i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
