Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You were trust falling into bushes
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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