i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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